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An Elegy

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I.

That morning
When part of me
Died with you
I was forced to fathom words
So free of logic
They made no impact
“Gone where?”
The entity spread slowly
Like black ink
Across my heart, saturating me
Into dark pools of nothingness
Liquefying my legs so
I crawled and pounded
At the floor for another world
To open up because this one
Was no longer real

II.

I have your boots
Engraved leather, western
I know they danced up storms
Tears of laughter raining
With friends that could barely fit
Into the funeral home
I have your smile
Tucked into mine
I use it for all that
You forgot to smile at
And all that you did

III.

I recycle your dreams
Tarnished and tattered
They still matter
To me
I see you in the clouds
Emblazoned in
Fiery silhouettes
Did you know that
Seagulls float by
With sun speckles of
You on their wings?

cloud for elegy

In memory of my brother

~

An elegy is “a poem written to lament the loss of someone or something special to you”, as Gayle Walters Rose explains this week at dVerse: Meeting the Bar. Three stages of grief are included – sorrow, admiration and acceptance.

My Brother

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DSCF1851

Driving east from our hometown

I remember a sunset

Blazing behind me

Reds I’d never known

Tangerines twisted

In tones of blue silk

Ivory smiles, infectious

Masquerading as cirrus clouds

I think it was you, my brother

I think it was you

              ~

Miles were meaningless

Moments embedded in golden hues

Purple streams extended

Like arms that had my back

I never lost sight of your afterglow

Love as large as the sun

Fades not in distance

Or in hearts

I think it was you, my brother

I think it was you

Grace encouraged us to write about brothers/brotherhood for dVerse poetics.  I lost my only brother suddenly when he was 36.  This was written as I recalled the most amazing sunset, traveling home one day from the small town I grew up in. It just happened to be his birthday.


Embers

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SAMSUNG

You are only gone

If I forget you

That could never happen

My brother, my friend

For memories, like oxygen

Breathe life again

Inhaling your laughter

Exhaling joy

You are only gone

If I let you go

But I don’t have to

Because flashbacks kindle the fire

Igniting hope

Warming my heart

And if my heart is warm

Then you are too.

~

In memory of my brother

who can still make me smile today.

~Oct. 28, 2000~