Then and Now

 

 

Heart like a kick drum solo
Surely they can hear it
Against pin dropping silence
Waiting for my name..my name
The R’s, here we go
Oh no
Stomach churning, wheels turning
“Here”
Static percussion, blurred
Am I here?
I don’t want to be here
I hate the first day of school

Heart on my sleeve
Some take it, some leave it but
I’m against pin dropping silence
Rise up, be heard
Here we go, let’s go
No no
Won’t fake it, I will make it
“Here”
Mind enlightened,
Here is all we have
Savoring each breath
Loving each day of life

 

Written for dVerse Poetics: Back to School

Image credit: pixabay.com

50 Things I’ve Learned in 50 Years…#25

“Strength can be silent.”

This one is still very hard for me…another lesson in progress.

Why?

My shyness crippled me when I was a child, a teenager and even into my twenties.

It took me a long time to grow “a voice”.  It took me a long time to be confident about my own opinions and a longer time to not care what others think of them. I find it very hard to be silent in a situation that is harmful to others. I want to fix things. I enjoy making a case. I enjoy writing a letter of complaint. (Can you get paid for that?) I am actually pretty darn good at it. Speaking up for something that I strongly believe in?  My cup of tea.

Despite this, I am learning that sometimes I just need to listen…even if it means listening to the silence. Sometimes the silence says that I am saying too much, that maybe I am over compensating for my own inadequacies or maybe I am speaking on the behalf of others, when they haven’t given me the floor.

Sometimes…I just need to be quiet shut up!

Strength is not always about raising your voice. Sometimes it is about restraining yourself from doing just that.