RSS Feed

Category Archives: Relationships

Under the Same Moon

Posted on

 

I stand starstruck

Inhaling the unknown

Surrendering all that is logical

To Luna’s light

You pinpoint planets

That I’ll never know

That I’ll never remember

And never want to

Beyond the Fog

Posted on
like-air-i-rise-from-the-4-elements-september-prompt-102x200.jpg

“Like Air, I Rise” – Nancy Smith

She was tied and tethered to the words at her back
Like daggers, chiseling holes into her heart
One foot forward
The other melded in familiar ground
She settled for the grey of days passed
Pining for the glorious “at last” that never came
Time capsuled, she waited for someone,
Some thing to brush off the dirt of yesteryears

Jaded
She faded
Into the darkness of candles never burned
Under the bellies of stones never turned
She lost her light
She lost her fight

Rise up, beckoned her soul
Rise up
This day as new as dawn’s embrace
Unleash the anchor that you have built
Link by link….. before
you
sink

With strength, with courage, with grace
She faced the fear that bound her fate
In one moment chosen to change
Throwing her briny tears to the rain
She stood poised and prepared
With feathered weight and opened arms
One leap
Into the unknown

Image credit:  nancysmithfineart.com

It’s Open Link Night over at dVerse Poets Pub! 

Post one poem of your choice. I am your host. Hope you can join us.

It was an honour to participate in “Women Speak”, a unique project by Nancy Smith. This was a poem that I submitted in response to her gorgeous piece, “Like Air, I Rise”.

Cannikin

Posted on

 

Come closer

Lay your head on my chest

Hear the echo of my phantom heart?

Stone-cold and crumbling

Like the rust of my skin

Don’t come in

 

Come closer

Will you taste my hollowed kiss?

This abyss is my gift…to you

Love letters unwritten

Roses ripe of tarnished tin

Don’t come in

 

 

For Poetics at dVerse, we are writing from the perspective of three characters from The Wizard of Oz. Follow the yellow brick road with us!

Doors open at 3 p.m. EST.

 

 

 

Stuck

Posted on

 

 

She spoke in scars

Bitterness of broken heart

Sailing with the undertows

Salty sting of ocean tears

Refreshing her pain

There was safety there

Reeling to the beat of

“It’s- not- my- fault”

Making peace with the fog

So she didn’t have to see

 

Sunlight beckoned but

She reveled in the rain clouds

Trading rainbows for permafrost

Frozen, hard fast in the loss

In time, she’d rewind in the wind

Dust off the grudge and wrath

Wipe the mist from the mirror

To see more than lines on her face

More than the misery of this place

Cue the music

And dance wildly to the light

 

 

I am hosting Poetics at dVerse Poets Pub. We are writing to “Life Lessons”. “What is one thing (or more) that you have learned that you feel could change another life? Well at least improve it.” Please share with us in a poem. There is still time to join in. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Minor Disturbance

Posted on

 

 

You speak in cloudbursts

Torrential tongue

Twisting words to suit your weather

I have news for you

The forecast isn’t bleak

The sky isn’t falling though you

May be chicken and I, little

Your drizzle will fizzle

And I can play in the rain

 

 

For Kim’s quadrille prompt over at dVerse Poets Pub.

44 words of fun using the word “rain”.

Image credit: pixabay.com

 

Self Combustion

Posted on

 

 

I’ve dabbled in darkness

the match, centimeters

from singeing

my fingers, my soul

A symphony of sirens

felt like a lullaby

why?

you’d have to look deeper

I’d have to share more

than embers greyed, tired

I’d have to breathe life

into the fire

 

 

Written for d’verse Poets Pub. De is our host for this week’s Quadrille prompt. A quadrille is a poem of exactly 44 words, not including the title. De has chosen the word ” fire” which must be incorporated into the poem.

Image credit: pixabay.com

 

 

 

 

You Go First

Posted on

 

I feel you tugging on the mask

Your grip equals my resistance

To concealing my existence

Don’t listen to my eyes

They lie

 

I feel you dredging up the past

Sifting fallacies from honesty

My blunders are your pleasure

Troubles I do treasure

Don’t look into my soul

It’s old

 

I feel your tiny shovel words

Digging deeply and discreetly

I see your mask is custom fit

Perhaps you truly will outwit

Take it off, go ahead

You go first

 

 

Come join us for Poetics at dVerse Poets Pub 3 p.m. EST.

We are exploring the idea of masks, psychological or metaphorical.

Image credit: pixabay.com

 

 

Seasoned

Posted on

 

 

I follow you

Flashlight in hand

Still dimmer than our hearts

Lake of infinity

Lapping to the rhythm of

Silence

Sandy-toed, sips of merlot

You whisper of satellites

Geosynchronous orbits

And how much you love me

Spicing my world

Peppering my skies

With stars

 

 

Join us as I host one of our favourite prompts, the Quadrille at dVerse Poets Pub. 44 words including the word “spice” or any form of it. Doors open at 3 p.m. EST.  C’mon….get a little spicy!

 

Image credit: pixabay.com

 

Fusion

Posted on

 

 

I am of you and you of me

Mingled blues upon the sea

Gentle sway of burnished brine

We fall and rise in tide, in time

 

We fall and rise in tide, in time

Gentle sway of burnished brine

Mingled blues upon the sea

I am of you and you of me

Windbag

Posted on

 

 

From your lips

Word balloons drift

A speech bubble blitz

Of braggadocio

Oh Pinocchio

Clouds do not part

For your presence

 

You are marshmallowed

Hollowed

A fairy tale twaddle

Floating on folly

And horse feathers

Oh Romeo

Thy swelled head

Will soften your landing

 

For De’s quadrille prompt over at dVerse.

Write a 44 word poem including the word “balloon”.

 

Image credit: pixabay.com

Glass Fish

Posted on

imag2100.jpg

 

You didn’t know

That on riverbanks I sat

Sinking in words unspoken

As waves sparkled and spat

Saying more than you could

And I ever would

I back-stroked in sea storms

Dreamed of days blue

While you fought the ebb tides

And this little memento

Means more than an ocean

To me

 

I am hosting Poetics at dVerse Poets Pub today. Today I am asking you to write a poem about one memento. You may use a souvenir from your travels, a photo, a keepsake from a special moment or event, perhaps a small token that is dear to your heart.

 

Serpentize

Posted on

doll-1884915_1280

 

 

She honeyed her way

Through like the drizzle

On a warm sopapilla

Dimple-cheeked a path

Of pink, made them think

She was true-blue

But she didn’t “you”

She spewed

Of what they thought she was

And what she wasn’t

 

 

It’s Lillian’s turn at Poetics! She has provided much fun and creativity with “verbification”, changing nouns, adjectives or other words into verbs. Can you verbify? There is still time to join in!

https://dversepoets.com/

 

Image credit: pixabay.com

Dinner for Four

Posted on

eat-in-kitchen-907611_1280

 

 

Pins patter across the floor

To the beat of stifled hearts

The scrape of metal on plates

Over a pea soup haze

Of perishing pipe dreams

Plates are full

Starving souls grumble

As sun stretches in vain

To reach darkened table

Four sets of blue eyes

Pale and gazing elsewhere

Wandering minds waiting

For something

Anything

To speak

These walls know

The pain of silence

 

We have all heard the phrase, “If these walls could talk”. Today, I would like you to do just that by giving walls a voice through your poetry. Join in with us over at dVerse where I will be your host for today’s Poetics. Doors open at 3 p.m. EST.

Image credit: pixabay.com

Collaboration for Peace – 35

Posted on
thumbnail_fruit-copy

Photo: Mish

Uncommon Friend

 

some say you
don’t belong
don’t  fit in
a nonconformist –
trouble
and so they
don’t
give you a chance
but you are bright and
sparkling
adding zing to my
dull life
zest to my ordinary days
balance to my humble story
and I am better for
knowing you

 

© Candace Kubinec

Disposition

Posted on
_mg_9627-2

Used with Permission: Emily Blincoe

 

 

You

cannot fix me.

My voids are custom

 made, specially designed

for comfort. Don’t arrange my

faults like feathers in a row,

plucked and sucked dry so

you can take credit

for my flight.

It isn’t

r

i

g

h

t

.

 

Written for dVerse – “Poetics: Arrangements by Emily Blincoe”

Short Version of a Long Love Story

Posted on

DSCF1385

 

We fell in love. Then we met. Yes. That is how it works when sparks fly in cyber space. It all began in a divorce support chat room where the last thing I was looking for was love. After six months of emails, instant messaging, and daily detailed phone conversations, we ran out of questions and the answers were consistent. Seeing each other face to face was just an inevitable step in an already established relationship. Finally a flight was booked. A dear friend drove me to the airport…”dear” because she didn’t question my sanity, at least not openly. I remember my hands trembling as I held my hot tea before boarding a plane to see him for the first time. I wasn’t nervous about traveling 1500 miles to meet this man of my dreams or worried that instead I would be captured by a disturbed internet troll, never to be seen again (though it may have crossed my friend’s mind).  No. He was not the unknown. It was the unfamiliarity of flying, airport procedures like gates, security and layovers that scared the living crap out of me.

A long distance relationship ensued and we became frequent flyers.  I could sleep through take offs, knew which airport restaurants to avoid and was quick on the draw to trade my seat for future free flights. Our love was challenged by distance and immigration procedures but the time spent together was like a hundred honeymoons. This was our life for six years. Elated hellos. Tearful goodbyes. On one sunny day we were riding bikes along a woodland trail in Collingwood, Ontario. We stopped for a moment and he pretended to crouch down to retrieve a water bottle. Instead he looked up at me with a ring.

It’s nine years later and this morning, just like any other morning, I sleepily tap the outside of the electric tea kettle. Yes, it’s hot. He times it well. As I take my favourite orange mug off the shelf, he knows my silence is not for lack of gratitude. He knows I don’t converse until I’ve had at least a half a cup of caffeine…and I know that isn’t easy for him. I know he needs his 15 kilometer bike ride after sitting in an office all day. He knows I need to put my feet up. A tall glass of water waits for me because he knows I probably didn’t drink any all day. He knows me well. It is in this “knowing” that our love keeps growing.

 

Tiny warbler charmed

Beckoned by the westerlies

Warmed by desert sun

 

Over at dVerse Poets Pub, Toni asked us to pen a romantic haibun, reminding us also that a haibun is true, not fiction. This is my response.  I think the prose is a work in progress, much like love itself. 

 

Tinted

Posted on

girl-1403448_1920

 

There was that one time

When roses did not seem so

Clichéd

She opened the guitar case

Lo and behold a dozen

Long stem intentions spoke

To her in petals and posies

Laughing at every thorn

And jagged edge

Nurturing her delusions

Of love

 

Written for our last Quadrille Monday before we take a brief summer break over at dVerse Poets Pub. Bjorn has given us the word “rose” to be used in a 44 word poem, excluding the title. Doors open at 3 p.m. EST.

Image credit: pixabay.com

 

Unruffled

Posted on

April2015 082

 

B  r  e e  z  e  on by me

Take your tail spin

For a whirlwind

I am marsh mellowed

Sun ripened

Rooted with the reeds

You are dragon winged

Mud flinging

Bumbling with the bees

I’m a water lily lulled

Cattail nap

You got that?

I am breezy

 

 

It’s  our 10th Quadrille Monday over at dVerse.  Get in on the 44 word fun! Bjorn chose the word “breeze”.

 

A Daughter’s Farewell

Posted on

May 30 016

 

I set sail without you

Into seas of rebellion

Waving white flags

At pilfering pirates

On quests for

Golden hearts

There was no good-bye

It was assumed that

You were you and

I was I

 

The sea swelled and took you

And I cursed not the wind

But your timing as I was

Left pining for words

Tossed and turned

Lost and churned

Into the brine

There was no good-bye

It was assumed that

You were you and

I was I

 
Sharing this with Open Link Night at dVerse Poets Pub, in response to Abhra’s poetic prompt, “Unintended Farewells”

Begrudged

Posted on

 

 

I remember the green

That took you to lowlands

Con-caved and shallow

Where pools of jealousy

Sat stagnant brooding, breeding

You were like a life-size mosquito

Feeding frantically on bad blood

Spitting out spite, always right

Green grew on you

I didn’t envy you

 

 

green

 

A Quadrille consisting of 44 words and Grace has asked us to incorporate the word, “green”. That is what we are up to at dVerse. You can join in too. Please do! Doors open at 3 p.m. EST.

 

50 Things I’ve Learned in 50 Years…#28

Posted on

“Jealousy and bitterness will hold you back from truly living your life.

Let it go.”

 

I’m sure the Frozen song is playing in your head right now, whether you like it or not. Sorry for that.

Oh jealousy and bitterness…such powerful emotions that have absolutely no use.

When I think of times that I felt jealous of someone or something that someone had, I have no memories of ambition or accomplishment from those situations. No one came around with a magic wand and gave me what I envied and I certainly didn’t end up being just like them. So…what was the point of all the misery?

I remember bitterness…serious, intense bitterness. I remember it becoming an entity of its own. I lost myself in it so deeply that I didn’t find myself again for 15 years. Was the bitterness justified? Well hell yes! I didn’t deserve this treatment and this bitterness was my weapon. I owned it. Oh yeah. The problem was that this weapon was aimed at me. It took me a long time to see the end of the barrel, but I did.  I hope you don’t take as long.

Let it go! Let it go!

Oh c’mon. Sing it.

Set yourself free.

 

 

 

Video credit: Youtube

 

Collaboration for Peace – 9

Posted on

 

Candy and I are happy to bring you another collaboration.

 

 

001

Photo: Candace Kubinec

 

Universal

 

We may not see

Scars and bruises

Heartaches hidden deep

Or know the twisted roots

Of troubled minds

Understanding takes time

But we can feel the rain

Of a thousand fears

Streaming down faces

In faraway places

We have never been

We can start here because

Tears are universal

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Expectations

Posted on

December 2012 141

 

Words echo through

Ear piercing silence as

Secrets hide under

Blankets of truth

Moments ignite, rise

Only to fall like wasted air

Dancing on deaf ears

Jabbing at hearts

For various reasons

Known and unknown

But we fill our stomachs

And cordially consume

All that is placed in front of us

Still craving for all that is not

Chasing Sunsets

Posted on

September 2015 200

 

We barely finish dinner of cauliflower and chickpea coconut curry, when you suggest we dash to the beach. The sky, like a southwestern painting of burnt orange and turquoise is obstructed by the stately maple tree in our back yard. Donning my fall jacket for the first time this year, I welcome the brisk, blustery air. My flip flops fight the downhill slope as I clutch our camera in one hand and my hair in the other. Somehow, I am surprised to see the lake lashing on tawny shores, oblivious to the solace of the setting sun. The clouds remind me of pieces of cauliflower we have just consumed, but these are now inked with the inevitable gloaming of day’s end. Still amazed by the infinity of the Great Lakes, you take to the camera, capturing all possible angles. I reminisce of similar spontaneous races to canyons in your enchanted land. Was it just for me? I think not, as I watch you take one last photo of gleaming sands soaking in orange.

 

Summer embraces fall
Celestial glow unfading
Reflections of love

 

 


Written for Haibun Monday, a new addition to the schedule over at dVerse Poet’s Pub. This is my first attempt at writing a haibun, a combination of prose and haiku.

 

Earthly and Heavenly Conversations

Posted on

sand castle

 

“Hey! I can make my own waves in the water!”

      “Where are your shoes? I told you no.”

“But look…”

      “I told you NO.”

“Ok, I’m getting my shoes…oh I have to stop to get all this sand off my feet.”

      “Where is your towel? I told you to bring your towel.”

“I forgot it.”

      “Don’t pick that up. It’s dirty.”

“It’s just a straw, for my flagpole on my sand castle.”      

      “Put it down. Now!”

“But I want it. I need it. The flag is the best part.”

 

 

“So, by the way…I made my own waves in this world.”

      “How did you do that? I told you no.”

“Just look.”

      “You didn’t listen. That is good.”

“ I always listened to you….always did what you said until I was tired of wiping the sand off my feet. I needed to feel it.”

      “You threw in the towel? I dreamt of your success, your master’s degree in…something. “

“Oh I know…I have never forgotten your dreams.”      

       “I was afraid of failure…mine, yours…yours being mine.”

“I remember one time when I was little and we were at the beach… I couldn’t build my sand castle because I needed a straw and you said it was dirty. The straw was part of my…”

      “I know….part of your creation, your idea. Are you still making sand castles?”

“Yes, Dad. Every day that I can. I want them. I need them…and my ideas are the best part.”

 

~

 

When Victoria C. Slotto at dVerse  challenged us to incorporate dialogue into our poetry, I was surprised and overwhelmed when this prompt took me on a very personal journey.

 

Retrospect

Posted on

July2015 037

Piles of intentions
All that mattered, scattered
Smiles prompted and posed
Say cheese, be happy
Be what I need you to be
Wish I knew then
What I still do not know

But I’m fighting for the light
Prying open the universe
With energy I don’t have
Looking for the answers
To questions I never asked
Until now

And my reflections are yours
My heart, your weakness
My weakness, your heart
Is that where we start?

50 Things I’ve Learned in 50 Years…#27

Posted on

“Even though we are all different, we are all the same.  We all want to be loved and accepted for who we are.”

 chip-2883

One of the greatest challenges in life is cooperative interaction with others. We hit walls we don’t want to climb and cross bridges we don’t want to meet…half…way. We guard our personalities and beliefs with our life.

Why? It took a long time to figure out who we are and no one is going to mess with that…right?

However, sometimes we have to step out of our deep rooted convictions and venture into neutral territories. It is in this place that we will find one thing in common. When we look underneath egos and actions, we will find the vulnerability that makes all of us human….the need to be validated and loved.

This is where hearts will align.. in spite of ourselves.

The Dis connect

Posted on

 

chain

 

 

Who broke the link? Who broke the link?
I think it could have been me
I stretched myself too far this time
I forgot where I should be
How does one fill the gaping void
Where fragments flake to rust?
Does time slow down to heal the wound
Does space turn hope to dust?

Does space turn hope to dust?
Does time slow down to heal the wound
Where fragments flake to rust?
How does one fill the gaping void?
I forgot where I should be
I stretched myself too far this time
I think it could have been me
Who broke the link , who broke the link

 

 

My first attempt at a Palindrome poem in response to Mary’s prompt for Meeting the Bar.  Mary explains that in Palindrome poetry or Mirror Poetry “the poet uses the same sentences (or almost!) forward and backward. “

 

 

Busting Pandora’s Chops

Posted on

pandora

 

 

Let’s throw our hearts in the ring

Because I am standing here at the

End of my pedestal

While you put your crocodile tears

All in one basket

Save some for a crazy day

Sprinkle them into the kool-aid

You so politely asked me to drink

As I choke down my last high horse

Let’s circle back

Nip this bad apple in a nutshell

Cold shoulders are pieces of cake

We can wear spices of life on our sleeves

Build more walls to write on

There are too many elephants

And not enough rooms

 

 

We are using, abusing and recycling cliche metaphors, idioms and corporate jargon over at dVerse. I interpreted Bjorn’s challenge of “cathachresis” a little differently and kept this simple and light. 

Image credit: Wikipedia

M’Lady

Posted on

heart

 

She was not impressed

With knights in armor

Shining or otherwise

Thirteenth century flair

Was lost on her

Yet there he stood

Encapsulated in iron

Pinache of red feathers

Her heart on his sleeve

Jousting for the prize

“I would rather drown in the moat

than watch this barbarian mockery”

She had her own codes

For chivalry and courtly love

~

Much medieval mayhem in the dVerse Poet’s Pub this week…we are celebrating!

Pink

Posted on
danny gregory

Image credit: Danny Gregory, Flickr

Pink, so stereotypical

Redundantly feminine

Behind rosy lips

Lies the real venom

Like peonies placed

Gently on worn tables

Dripping on doilies

Twisting on fables

Out of the doghouse

With petals of penitence

Tied in a bow

With ribbons of arrogance

He didn’t mean it

This bouquet will speak

Softly in fuchsia

An offering to the weak

~

Today at dVerse, Gabriella introduced us to Danny Gregory, who kindly allowed us to use his artwork as a prompt for poetry.

https://www.flickr.com/photos/dannygregory/

Unblemished

Posted on

totomai martinez photo

 

Let me swim again
In pools of innocence
I will not surface for air
Until it is safe and pure
I will not speak with forked tongue
But sing only sweetly of stars
And cars and the buzzing of bees

Let me lay down again
In fields of pink moss
Where seeds of treason and trickery
Are not sown
I will feel joy
As eagles, not egos
Soar overhead

Let me be young again
Eyes wide with wonder
Waiting for the next miracle to unfold
I will not know of lies
No alibi, candy coated
Only love given graciously
Untainted and true

 

At dVerse, Mary introduced us to a talented photographer and poet named Totomai Martinez. Among thousands of amazing photos, this one spoke to me immediately.

Image credit: Yoshi by Totomai Martinez

https://www.flickr.com/photos/totomai

Breaking Bread Habits

Posted on

Pelee Island 452

You sprinkle the flour
Careless chaos across my counter
I want to even it out, but I resist
This is your life now
You knead it

~

Watching you with motherly eyes
I finally see
That everything you are
Did not originate from this kitchen
And I thank God for that
You’ve moved on from
These minds, crumbled and torn
This table set robotically
With knives scraping on Corelle
Just to break the silence

~

You twist and turn this art
Into your own
Scoring precisely as planned
Filling the old loaf pan
With new hope, rustic and pure
This bread will leaven
And my heart will rise

~

Written for dVerse and inspired by Gail’s nurturing poetic prompt using the subject of bread.

Coexistence

Posted on

peace post

I will find peace here

You will find peace here

Together

We will find peace

~

Empty Nesting

Posted on

September 2014 375

 

Curried carrot soup in the crock pot

Peach berry crisp bubbling in the oven

This is my morning

Its sixty four degrees and perfect weather

To watch the geese come in

For a spectacular landing over the pond

But that is not where my heart is

I am blind as autumn guides me through

The rituals of raking and baking

Buying squash at the market

Pinching off the mums that are wilting

Because I don’t have enough sun in my yard

I don’t have enough sun in my life

It is all a facade when there are no

Mouths to feed and no laughter kicking

Up the leaves

That was my yesterday

Little jean jackets, mischievous smiles

I brace myself for the cold

That never fails to surprise me

Half way through October

Even though it’s never left

Since you did

 

September 2014 457

 

~

It’s Open Link Night at dVersean opportunity to share anything, but when Marina Sofia mentioned Fall, this one evolved quickly.

My Lighthouse

Posted on

DSCF1302

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You are my lighthouse

Directing me to shore

When I drift carelessly

In my own waves

Signalling me to safety

My lantern, my love

Wrapping me in safe harbors

To sift through sands

For ancient shells

Emptied of lost moments

Until I find the one

Perfectly pierced

Waiting for a chain

And a reason to be worn

 

You are my lighthouse

Illuminating my destiny

Through fog and faint heart

Shining on me

Like I am important

My lantern, my love

And there is not a gale

Or storm that could take me

When I have your light

Your beacons of hope

Guiding me back

To shores of solace

Dreams and castles

Still yet to be built

 

 

Karin Gustafson  at dVerse Poet’s Pub, challenged us to follow through on metaphors.

“Meeting the Bar” at dVerse

 

 

 

 

Rainbows and Reveries

Posted on

Pelee Island 038

The blues and greens

The mist in between

The moments of yellow

Fade into the pink, I think

It’s more than a show

Colours of life do not fade

For they’re made of

You and me

Forts in the trees

Grass tickling toes

And sun burnt noses

Our hopes, our dreams

And all that seems

As possible as the rain

 

 

50 Things I’ve Learned in 50 Years…#23

Posted on

 

“If you constantly blame others, you will never see your own mistakes.”

50 post1

Pretty self explanatory. You’re not perfect. You never will be perfect. You can be 99.9 percent right, but never 100 percent. If you are, then you may have landed here from some unknown planet because this planet, my friends, is full of humans. Humans falter on a regular basis.

Breathe…falter….breathe…falter.

Catch those breaths in between.

Look in the mirror. Reflect on your actions.

It might not be pretty, but you will discover something amazing…an enlightenment, so to speak…a realization of your own flaws and blunders.

This can change your life.

I remember an extremely difficult workplace situation years ago, that took me close to a nervous breakdown. I look back now and wonder why ….no make that “WHY OH FLIPPIN’ WHY” would I react the way I did!  Even though I truly had been treated very unfairly, that is all I saw. They were wrong. That was it.

But that isn’t it. In every interaction or relationship, we have strengths and weaknesses that come into play. Even if we are “right”, we can present it the wrong way. Presentations are like a land mine of misunderstandings waiting to happen…and in our quest to be heard and understood, we make mistakes. And that isn’t all of it. Sometimes, we really are wrong. We forget or refuse to take the time to look into that crystal clear stream of reality and see our own imperfections.

Enough said.

A Good Mother

Posted on

I built a wall around you

Believing that was right

Pushing away the darkness

To hold you in the light

Brick upon brick

Arms wrapped around you

Leaving you nowhere

To fall or hold on to

Except for me

But I don’t count

Because a good mother

Would have let you out

A good mother

Would have sewed you a cloud

To sail to the sun

And sing out loud

To swell up with tears

That rain on parades

To play with the lightning

And not be afraid

A good mother

Would have loved you from afar

Forgot where you came from

And learned who you are

She would have braved her own demons

And dried her own tears

Harbored your anger

And welcomed your fears

A good mother would love you

And that I have done

But you broke the wall

You found the sun

wall

50 Things I’ve Learned in 50 Years…#22

Posted on

“Friends do not always reveal themselves.”

I am still hanging on to the theory that we were put on this earth to share with others. Whether it be our time, our possessions, our abilities, our talents, our compassion, our stories…whatever we have to give, I think we are supposed to give.  When doing so, sometimes we are blessed with interactions that lead to friendships.

Friendships are gifts. The problem is that sometimes they are hard to identify. If only they came in neat little packages tied up with a bow…with a little tag that says, “Really, I’m your friend..for real.”  Between reading social cues, dealing with your own personal insecurities and the fear of forming assumptions, it can become complicated…at least it has been for me. Maybe I’m just a freak so unique that I have trouble with this. I am a very open person. This could hinder the process of some potential friendships. I probably scare the hell out of people. Would I change this about me? Absolutely not.

So what have I learned about friendships?

I’ve learned that often I am afraid to call them that.

I know what I think a friendship should be.

My eclectic personality requires a wide variety of friends.

I’ve learned that the more time someone gives me, the more I feel they are truly my friend.

Although I do not fear rejection (because I am secure with who I am), I get frustrated when I can’t determine the intentions of others. I am not sure if this is a problem on my part or theirs.

For the most part, I think I am a good friend.

I treasure the friendships I have.

A friend can come in any size, race, age, occupation, social background, education, etc.

Openness is key to me.

Your spouse can be your best friend.

Anything pretentious, materialistic or superficial does not interest me.  My relationships need to be deeper.

I have learned that even at my age, I still have lots to learn about establishing friendships.

In my opinion…

A good friend truly cares about you, would do almost anything in the world for you, listens to you, advises you, confides in you, laughs with you and cries with you.

A good friend is someone who doesn’t care what you look like, accepts all of your faults, your mistakes and never gives up on you.

A good friend has no ulterior motives for being your friend.

A good friend considers the reasons you have become who you are.

A good friend sees your positive traits and enjoys them in the moment.

A good friend has time for you.

A good friend would sincerely miss you if you were gone.

pelicans

Birds of a feather sticking together at San Diego Zoo Safari Park

Weekly Photo Challenge: Abandoned

Posted on

May 399

When the storm rolls in

We flee

Deserting places and people

We love

Wary of winded truths

That fill the sky

Knocking down layers

Of little white lies

When lightening strikes

We run

Eyes and ears covered

In disbelief

Forfeiting our dreams

In the overcast

Denial is our fortress

‘Til the rain has passed

Truth

Posted on

DSCF6725

It is what it is

Unobscured , sunlit

A guiltless glow of certainty

Barbed and bristly

Thoughtlessly exposed

Nettles rooted and ready

Unwittingly aimed

At pricking me

Autopilot

Posted on

DSCF8322

All systems go

Buzzing, fuzzy

My legs are walking

My mouth is talking

But I am on autopilot

Numbed and knocked out

By something bigger

Than what we had

Maybe I’ll go

Dazed and drowning

My eyes are burning

My heart is yearning

But I am on autopilot

Snowed and sloughed off

By something bigger

Than what I thought we had

Hollowed

Posted on

hollow tree

On the surface

Embellishments adorn you

Reflecting on your own reflection

Bouncing rays of admiration

Throwing out shiny lures

To feed the braggadocio

But I see through you, my friend

You are pitted

Character is simulated

Substance has been excavated

All that matters, taken

All that remains, meaningless

You are hollow

Weekly Photo Challenge: Horizon

Posted on

edited

I will meet you there

Where the earth meets the sky

With a giddy heart

And silly stars in my eyes

We can mambo the meridian

In a sunset masquerade

Poke our fingers in the clouds

Dip our toes in the waves

We will tango in the twilight

On the skyline, we will glide

I’ll meet you there, my love

Until the day I die

 

Choked Up

Posted on

May 401

The words are ringing in my ears today

Blinding my eyes with tears

Taking me down to that place

Where the back of my throat is all I can feel

Razor-sharp annunciation

Cryptic though in clarification

Boxing my brain again

Revealing my pain again

Time has no bearing on this burden

Riddles, reasons overlap seasons

Oblivious to wasted time

Moments lost, never to find

Hope dangles on a thread

Frayed and frazzled in my head

Precious moments terminate

As stubborn hearts still beat

dVerse Open Link Night

Strange

Posted on

DSCF3753

Sometimes you travel down a path

Before knowing you are on it

Time ticks and toys with your intentions

Space grows large enough to swallow you whole

Highways, byways lead to nowhere

Signs are non existent, lights are out

You surrender to the map of fate

Blindly hoping it will bring you back

To the warm, familiar place

You took for granted

To the smiles, the love, the laughter

Away from the “strange”

Dawning Hope

Posted on

April 9 sunrise geese033

You are with me in the fog

Drifting silently on your own

Though you hide within the darkness

You will never be alone

Waves of anger turn to ripples

As the faithful sun will rise

Murky minds catch rays of hope

To see the light inside

~

You are with me in the fog

Relentless it may be

I am hiding in the darkness

Words are lost and swept away

We are floating without current

We are discord in a daze

But there is promise in the sunrise

There is love beneath the haze

50 Things I’ve Learned in 50 Years…#19.

Posted on

#19. Parenting is lifelong.

DSCF7076

When your children are small, you think this is the most difficult time of your life. Diapers, fevers, tantrums, oh my!!  It has to be easier when they are grown.

“Grown”?

What does that mean? Do they ever stop growing?  I haven’t stopped growing!

We are always waiting for the next stage in their development whether it’s walking, talking or starting school. There is always a step, as though we are accompanying them up the stairway to ADULTHOOD…some magical place where we are no longer responsible, no longer needed, no longer of service.

This is so far from the truth.

Parenting is not a job that simply ends at 18 or 21 or 55. They continue to grow and change every day and you are part of that.  You never stop worrying about them, caring for them and loving them. Everything they do has some effect on you. There are feelings of pride, guilt, concern, sadness, relief, excitement and fear that run through you as they continue on their journey of life.

The hardest part of being a parent is when you no longer have the right to be involved. Your involvement becomes a privilege. Your knowledge of what is happening in their life crosses lines of confidentiality policies and ventures into new territories of friendship, mentor-ship and consultation…if you’re lucky.  Suddenly, the flashbacks of boo boos, band aids and kissing it “all better” are sweet memories. It was so simple then. As your children get bigger, so can their problems.  When you no longer have the ability to protect them the way you used to, it can be the most unsettling and frustrating feeling you have ever felt.  Your colicky baby that kept you up night after night was still SAFE in your arms. As they get older, it is much more of a challenge to let go and simply pray for their safety and well-being.

Parenting doesn’t end when your children are not children. As long as you are worried, you are still a parent.

They are part of you forever.

Void

Posted on

DSCF0598

Space without substance

Time without tolerance

Minds apart

Stabs in the heart

Form without motion

Endless erosion

Words unheard

Intentions deferred

Reach without touching

Nudge without crushing

Anger intact

Missing the facts

Love without action

Emotions in traction

Nothing but air

Hope and a prayer

The End

Posted on

DSCF7968

Every moment we are still together

Mother and daughter, so sacred

I have the unfortunate knowledge

It will not last

Because I have been there

Facing the impossible

Denying the unthinkable

 I have been there

When the bottom falls out

Making you wonder why

You invested your soul, your heart, your mind

If only for a short time

Why do we love so much

Knowing it will cause so much pain?

Why are we given these precious moments

Leaving us vulnerable and needing more?

I have been there

Devastated by the loss

Frozen in my tracks

Wondering where my next breath will come from

Kicking at pieces of my heart

Laying on the floor

Because life was over as I knew it

So today I look at you,  aging with grace

I hang on to your every word,

Every beloved gesture

Until the end.

Particles of the Past

Posted on

blog pic

The past can resurface

 Creep into your disbelieving mind

Because now you see it differently

The validity of discontent

How much you truly suffered

And how far you have come

Now you see

The pain as a separate entity

An unwelcome foe from long ago

Knocking on your mind

Rattling your fortress of serenity

Trying to find a way in

blog pic2

The past can return

Play with your peace of mind

Because it never really goes away

It is yours to subdue and restrain

Yours to push back into the darkness

Far from your precious light

Now you see

Under the light that you have kindled

With broken sticks and broken dreams

How easily walls can fall down

Leaving you vulnerable once more

Exposing your scars

blog pic3

The past can sweep you away

Determined to turn you to dust

Shoving you back in the pile

Of degraded debris and dismay

Now you see

How easy it was to crumble

Because words alone can crush you to pieces

And it’s hard to get up

When you are a tiny particle

Of the past

50 Things I’ve Learned in 50 Years….#17

Posted on

September 2011 450

#17. “If you think about where a person is coming from, what they’ve been through in their life, how they’ve been raised, you will find it easier to forgive, understand and accept that they don’t and may never look at things the same way that you do.”

 

This one is golden.

Do you want to be empowered? Free yourself from the frustration? Save some time and energy?

Ok, now I sound like an advertisement.

The truth is…

When this little light bulb of enlightenment switched on in my brain, it changed my life.

Click.

Not everyone was blessed with a loving beginning. They are what they came from. They may not be able to see or feel more than that. Not everyone has sailed a calm sea without drowning in pain or suffering…and some are still drowning. Some have a point to make, an axe to grind or a need to be heard. Some people can only feel better by making others feel worse.

Some people will not change. Some people don’t need to change…not for you.

Sometimes you have to rearrange your thoughts, open your mind and accept.

Let them be who they are.  Let it be what it is.

A huge burden can be lifted when you do.

Clemency

Posted on

October 2011 427

Stone heart, you never knew

Faultless you were in realization

Clarification, inspiration

It’s how you grew

Bleak start, without the love

Basics were all they thought you needed

Stimulation, validation

Only words heard of

Fall apart, is all you do

Methodical daze of disintegration

Inflammations, resignations

That’s what you knew

Beaten by your own recall

Pictures lie in presentation

Allegations, provocations

I believe it all

Repeat, rewind, reverse the reel

Trapped in a time of condemnation

Deprivation, hibernation

Unable to feel.

YOU ARE FORGIVEN

50 Things I’ve Learned in 50 Years….#9

Posted on

#9.  “Happiness and contentment in your life only happens because you are happy and content with yourself.”

Throughout my twenties and thirties, I had a vision of what would make me happy. It was a perfect world and time.   It was just outside the box of reality I lived in, but completely achievable….or so I thought. It was more than just career goals or personal milestones. It was this imaginary idea of what my life should be like. I constantly pined for it . I was always waiting for it.  I like to think that I had some kind of epiphany about this but maybe it was just a few hard knocks that forced me to finally free myself of these ridiculous and unnecessary expectations.

As I approached 4O,  I found myself again…under the rubble of wishes and good intenti0ns. Wow, I was M.I.A. and didn’t even know it!

Why is it that different things make different people happy? Maybe it’s because it is our own particular state of mind that reacts. Happy things make happy people happy. They don’t work as well with unhappy people. People in my life have suffered similar challenges and losses. Although they all found themselves drowning in  despair and self pity, some have not come back up for air. They are still swimming around in the aftermath, hanging on to what happened to them, their only strength is their pain. It’s really easy to be unhappy. It requires no work on our part. Acceptance requires action but believe me, it is worth it in the end. Our own contentment welcomes the laughter, the warmth, and the beautiful stillness.

California 2011 040

California breathin’

Feeling inspired to write a poem today…….

SEARCH FOR SERENITY

Taking, needing, wanting

All the while believing it is the goal

To find, to get, to hold

A dream deserved

Only to realize

The illusion of plans

And the truth of fate.

Giving, accepting, feeling

As each moment ignites only briefly

Feeding the soul for only now

Is there anything

Not conjured up

Or wished upon

Only within is there light

To find, to get, to hold.

50 Things I’ve Learned in 50 Years….#5

Posted on

#5. “Everyone you meet in your life will teach you something…..if you’re willing to learn.”

Image

If you think about how much you have learned over your life time so far, it is probably at the very least, mind blowing.  By asking simple questions of those you meet, you can multiply this amount of information over and over.

There came a time in my life (probably around 40,  since I have evolved slowly), when I realized that every unique being on this earth has something to offer me.  I have always found human behaviour to be quite fascinating but within this hobby of observation, it is easy to analyze and judge.  When I tried to curb this a bit, I began to see more, learn more and feel more.

Besides the obvious factual information so easily obtained, there is always a story, an undertone that whispers  softly , if  you listen….I mean, REALLY listen and imagine where it is coming from.

Do you think you can learn something from the homeless man begging for change on the street?

Absolutely!  He has a story. You can learn from his pain, his misfortune and the small acts of kindness that give him joy. You can learn from your own fear of him, as he approaches you.  Ask yourself why it is so hard to look at his face, even when you hand him your spare coins.  Is he not worthy of eye contact or is his lesson to you lying dormant within yourself? Everyone has a story. Your story may not be any more interesting.  It is just different. Your story is not worn on your sleeve every day, like his.

There are no limits to what you can learn, only doors for you to open or leave shut.

50 Things I’ve Learned in 50 Years…#1

Posted on

A little over  a year ago,  I  found myself undeniably approaching  the big five oh (no!).  I was determined to make it significant, at least to me, so I decided to share  some things I’ve learned over the years…… the good times, the bad times, the crazy times and all those enlightening moments in between.

Some lessons take a moment, others a life time.  Maybe you can relate to a few.

Hope you find a moment to join me on a regular basis as I reflect on this roller coaster ride we call “LIFE”, starting with…..

#1 If you’re holding a grudge, you’re letting someone continue to hurt you.


Think about it.

Someone causes you pain.  They ruin your day….or maybe your life?

Wait a minute! Are you going to let them ruin your life? Do they deserve that?  Do YOU deserve that?

Carrying a grudge is heavy work  but only you can lighten the load.

Are you waiting for an apology or someone to have a life changing enlightenment?  You could be waiting a long time.

You may be the only one capable of moving forward.   Harboring the anger, resentment and pain is your choice.

Simple as that.

      Stay tuned for #2 !

Posted on

Hearts of gold

Are fewer still it seems

This world, so wired for techno garb

Dulling minds with faceless friends

Leaving us searching for souls

On tangled webs that weave

Between truth and trickery                                           

Hearts of gold

Are all around us

Rebooting dreams of reality

Reaching out blindly

For other fingers too busy texting tales

That never would leave lips