Summer slips quickly
Into winter’s dream
As fall fakes a smile
Amused at the lens
Say “Leaves”
And they gather
In layers lost
Before our eyes
Bits of space unnoticed
Until blinks are detected
Don’t blink
These moments have a life
Of their own
If we don’t give them one
~
Do we listen
When silence speaks
In Mother Nature’s tongue
Let it drown out the technosaurus
Stomping loudly on anything
More than a day old
Time will soon be tired
Of being archived by the minute
But nothing can stop the wind
From carving out canyons
Or the sun
From casting shadows
Where no one even looks
~
Do we sense
The softness of the breeze
She whispers on our skin
Caressing with only one purpose
To touch us… so we feel
Or have we forgotten
More than we know
Reality will soon be tired
Of hiding beneath the light
Of the machines we type on
The media we thrive on
The “friends” we depend upon
In this mechanical mess we call life
Out here
I could slip away
Fall through the cracks of
Time and existence
Mesmerized
By all that it is,
Unstirred and forsaken
Cosmic creation
A sweeping silence
That deafens the demons
And nourishes the soul
These are not bad lands
Here in the quietude
Layers emerge
Softly defined by the sun’s descent
Past and future hold nothing
To this very moment
Time has crumbled like scraps
Carved out by the wind
Abandoned in shadows of now
Thoughts are held hostage
By beauty’s lure
Leaving space and breath
To inhale this gift
Time is irrelevant
No meaning cast
Daylight dishonored
By shadows of the past
Seasons slide easily
Through white knuckled fists
Like tiny bright crystals
Too weak to resist
Time is a gift
To be treasured or wasted
Portraits and images
Carefully pasted
Time is mind altered
We stand early or late
Pausing… resuming
But time does not wait
Time is man measured
Designed and driven
Assumed, forsaken
Granted, God given
We reach towards the sun
To feel the warmth
Nurturing our souls
Soothing our minds
Millions of miles away
When only millimeters from our hands
Placed on our chest
We can feel the life, the blood
The beating of our own sun
A gift more precious than we can comprehend
For hearts so pure and strong
Are victims to minds so tangled
Hearts so fearless and free
Become chained by selfishness
We reach towards the sun
To find simplicity
How dare they
You were here first
Planted firmly, deep in soil
Casting shadows in the grass
Making rings for each year passed
A hefty price they paid
To bring you in dead
…..or dead
Roped and tied as if you’d run
You’ve stood your ground, oh rooted one
Branches reach toward the sun
One last time
As if begging for mercy
Now I watch your severed limbs
Turn into tiny chips
For pretentious gardens
And meaningless mulch
You may not be missed by those
Who mindlessly maim you
But I will miss you
My friend from over the fence
I will miss your undeniable presence
Your glorious stature
They can only kill you
But I will miss you
Tiny treasures washed ashore
Patiently polished by time
Shell I pick you up
Or leave you to rest in the sand?
Your journey complete with tales to tell
Of seaweed and undertows
Shell I pick you up
Or admire you from my hands?
Basking beauties before my eyes
Collecting on common ground
Shell I pick you up
Or honor the shelter you gave?
Ancient armor from life now passed
Jagged and rightfully so
Shell I pick you up
Or leave you kissing the waves?
#15. “Nature is amazing.”
A field
That’s all it took to enchant me
I have never returned
From the sound of the crickets
Blades of green tickles
Or the smell of rain on the path
The path I walked
To school, to play, to think
The path I rode
My bike and my Honda 70
Over the bumps
Around that curve
Slowing down for sure
Because nothing’s for sure
Being cautiously crazy
Carelessly stable
~
In the 70’s, life was about what we did. We DID things…without gadgets in our hands. We made things. We made things up. We looked for things. We found things. We entertained ourselves and created our own life, without Google and a status shuffle.
Playing outside was the key to our happiness as children. We felt the wind, touched the grass, skinned our knees and burned our faces in the sun…without sunscreen.
Nature was part of my childhood. It fired up my curiosity and my imagination. Taking a walk in the field near our home gave me ideas. There was a large crater like hole surrounded by tall grass, which became a hideout. There were plants to identify and dissect. There were bugs to put in mason jars and tiny toads to capture in my cupped hands.
I always set them free.
There were trails in the field and my younger brother took to them fearlessly with various dirt bikes, deliberately catching air over mole hills. I admired him. I admired him so much that I wanted to be the only girl in the neighborhood to ride a mini bike. After all, a girl can only force Barbie to try on so many of those silly plastic shoes.
The trees I climbed, the wild raspberries I picked and ate, everything I saw and touched in that field is still with me today. I was blessed by nature. I need it to nourish my soul, calm my mind and recharge my body.
If you find the time to go for a walk…..stop.
Look.
Listen.
Nature comes to you when you are still.
#10. “In an instant, your world can be turned upside down. The people you take for granted can disappear in the blink of an eye. Tomorrow is only a plan. This moment is all you have.”
It was October of 2000. It was a Saturday morning when the phone rang, waking me up from a deep slumber. As one who usually dreaded the worst, I assumed this 7 a.m phone call meant something was wrong. Perhaps my grandmother was ill but in the back of my mind, I thought “calm down, it’s probably just a wrong number”. Nothing could have prepared me for what I was about to hear. It would have been the furthest idea from my mind. It was unthinkable.
When my crying mother said my brother was “gone”, I asked where he went. He was single. He could go wherever he wanted. He had no significant ties. I thought…. where in the world could he have gone that would upset my mom so much? What was she talking about?
Confused and half asleep I asked her, “Where did he go?”
“He’s dead”, she muttered with whatever strength she could dig up from……somewhere. My mother had waited hours to call me. She just couldn’t pick up the phone.
He was 36 years old. He was my baby brother by three years.
He was my only brother.
I fell to the floor. I remember so clearly the sound that came out of my mouth. I remember pacing back and forth and screaming “no” over and over. I am sure at that moment, I was insane. I remember crawling up the stairs, waking up my ex husband. I was not me, but just an empty, robotic being, mumbling, sobbing, shaking, running around the room……lost in denial.
I cannot understand to this day how I drove an hour and a half by myself to get there. My two sons were still asleep (or were they?) and their dad would stay there with them. I didn’t want them to know anything about their uncle yet…because it couldn’t be true anyways. That was the plan I managed to somehow articulate before running out the door to my car. I was going to see him because that was the only way I could prove that this wasn’t happening.
The next time I saw my brother, it was Halloween night and he was in a casket.
DEATH is sneaky. Don’t ever trust it. It hides away mysteriously and then leaps out of nowhere to blindside you into oblivion.
LIFE is precious. Don’t ever take it for granted. It is amazing, breathing and beautiful and it never hides. Take everything it has to offer.
Don’t wait until the phone rings or there is a knock on the door. Live your life to the fullest.
Every minute unfolding in front of you is amazing.
~ In memory of my brother, his laughter, his incredible smile , his song , his silly dance and most of all, his loving heart.~
#9. “Happiness and contentment in your life only happens because you are happy and content with yourself.”
Throughout my twenties and thirties, I had a vision of what would make me happy. It was a perfect world and time. It was just outside the box of reality I lived in, but completely achievable….or so I thought. It was more than just career goals or personal milestones. It was this imaginary idea of what my life should be like. I constantly pined for it . I was always waiting for it. I like to think that I had some kind of epiphany about this but maybe it was just a few hard knocks that forced me to finally free myself of these ridiculous and unnecessary expectations.
As I approached 4O, I found myself again…under the rubble of wishes and good intenti0ns. Wow, I was M.I.A. and didn’t even know it!
Why is it that different things make different people happy? Maybe it’s because it is our own particular state of mind that reacts. Happy things make happy people happy. They don’t work as well with unhappy people. People in my life have suffered similar challenges and losses. Although they all found themselves drowning in despair and self pity, some have not come back up for air. They are still swimming around in the aftermath, hanging on to what happened to them, their only strength is their pain. It’s really easy to be unhappy. It requires no work on our part. Acceptance requires action but believe me, it is worth it in the end. Our own contentment welcomes the laughter, the warmth, and the beautiful stillness.
California breathin’
Feeling inspired to write a poem today…….
SEARCH FOR SERENITY
Taking, needing, wanting
All the while believing it is the goal
To find, to get, to hold
A dream deserved
Only to realize
The illusion of plans
And the truth of fate.
Giving, accepting, feeling
As each moment ignites only briefly
Feeding the soul for only now
Is there anything
Not conjured up
Or wished upon
Only within is there light
To find, to get, to hold.
#6. “I could easily get into a fist fight with people who talk during a concert. If you’re not singing, shut up!”
Tragically Hip
(and the brilliant mind of Gord)
Have you been there?
It’s hard enough watching a struggling artist pour out his heart and soul in a quiet bar as people obnoxiously talk over him. At a concert, it especially baffles me when people actually pay for a ticket but don’t have any interest in the band. There’s the fifteen year old textaholics that didn’t know the name of the group until they got there because they never heard of them. Why? Because they were not BORN YET!! Then there’s the couple who had a few too many “pre-drinks” and are now arguing about how many they’ve had and how they’re getting home. Don’t forget the ones that continually talk into each other’s ears about the group you’re trying to listen to as if no one can hear them.
I am there to see a band that I love and somehow through my gritting teeth, I manage to bite my tongue and behave myself.
The evil glares continue, however.
Music is extremely meaningful and sentimental to me and I appreciate that not everyone shares this passion to the extent that I do but…pahleeaase!!
There is a time and place for everything.
The Eagles
(a major check off the bucket list)
#5. “Everyone you meet in your life will teach you something…..if you’re willing to learn.”
If you think about how much you have learned over your life time so far, it is probably at the very least, mind blowing. By asking simple questions of those you meet, you can multiply this amount of information over and over.
There came a time in my life (probably around 40, since I have evolved slowly), when I realized that every unique being on this earth has something to offer me. I have always found human behaviour to be quite fascinating but within this hobby of observation, it is easy to analyze and judge. When I tried to curb this a bit, I began to see more, learn more and feel more.
Besides the obvious factual information so easily obtained, there is always a story, an undertone that whispers softly , if you listen….I mean, REALLY listen and imagine where it is coming from.
Do you think you can learn something from the homeless man begging for change on the street?
Absolutely! He has a story. You can learn from his pain, his misfortune and the small acts of kindness that give him joy. You can learn from your own fear of him, as he approaches you. Ask yourself why it is so hard to look at his face, even when you hand him your spare coins. Is he not worthy of eye contact or is his lesson to you lying dormant within yourself? Everyone has a story. Your story may not be any more interesting. It is just different. Your story is not worn on your sleeve every day, like his.
There are no limits to what you can learn, only doors for you to open or leave shut.
#4. If you’re not thinking outside of the box, you’re living in a very small place.
As a child, the world seemed so big and never ending. My dreams were more like goals. Anything seemed possible. I didn’t hope to achieve them. It was only a matter of how and when. I had nothing to compare them to, no similar situations to remind me of what could go wrong. There were so many options, so much to see and do, so many places to go.
I listened.
I observed.
I believed in many things.
Then something happened. It’s interesting that as I grew older, my mind began to filter out ideas that didn’t seem as logical or achievable….as least not to me, anymore. Reality shoved it’s way into my tranquil, sunshiney space, ready to rain downpour on my parade, with a few too many “in your face” experiences of loss, disappointments and heartache. I was angry, resentful and mostly, just sad.
Later on, I think reality had overstayed it’s welcome. I was tired of what I had to do, what I had to face, how I had to live my life. It wasn’t until I was 40, that I found my youth again. The doors flung open and I emerged like a giant clumsy child.
I’m baaa…aaack!!!!
Who says I can’t have fun? Who says I have to do things a certain way? Who says I have to get old? Who says people are everything they seem. They are not. I was ready to explore again, but this time a little bit of knowledge came along with me. That can be useful. I was ready to let go of everything holding me back and move forward “into the great wide open” as Tom Petty puts it. The biggest surprise to me was how happy it made me.
The more open I became……
the more I listened,
the more I observed,
the more I believed.
How familiar that feeling was!
We were born with open minds. It is not our experiences that close our minds. It is our reactions to our experiences that close our minds. There is no right way of doing things. There are just many ways of doing things. That’s what makes people interesting. That’s what makes LIFE interesting.
Take a look at the Grand Canyon. You cannot see it’s boundaries…..the never ending space that beckons you to think past what is in front of you.
Think past what you know or where you have been.
Stay open. It’s fun.
#3. When tobogganing down a steep ravine, a wine skin filled with cherry whiskey, will soften the blow of every tree you hit.
Looking back at it now, I can’t believe we really owned one of these. The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language describes it as “a bag made from the skin of a goat for example, and used for holding and dispensing wine”.
I am fairly certain that I was unaware of the goat skin as I sipped chugged my cherry whiskey, hoping my socks would stay dry. We were trudging through a foot of good packing snow with our plastic Magic Carpets, waxed up wooden toboggans and super flying saucers. Woooo Hoooo!!!
Life was good……in the 70’s.
A little over a year ago, I found myself undeniably approaching the big five oh (no!). I was determined to make it significant, at least to me, so I decided to share some things I’ve learned over the years…… the good times, the bad times, the crazy times and all those enlightening moments in between.
Some lessons take a moment, others a life time. Maybe you can relate to a few.
Hope you find a moment to join me on a regular basis as I reflect on this roller coaster ride we call “LIFE”, starting with…..
#1. If you’re holding a grudge, you’re letting someone continue to hurt you.
Think about it.
Someone causes you pain. They ruin your day….or maybe your life?
Wait a minute! Are you going to let them ruin your life? Do they deserve that? Do YOU deserve that?
Carrying a grudge is heavy work but only you can lighten the load.
Are you waiting for an apology or someone to have a life changing enlightenment? You could be waiting a long time.
You may be the only one capable of moving forward. Harboring the anger, resentment and pain is your choice.
Simple as that.
Stay tuned for #2 !
My husband and I decided to take advantage of a cool but sunny spring day and take a hike at a nearby conservation area. A man passed by and told us there was “some kind of animal” sleeping up in a tree not too far ahead.
Sure enough, there it was……
….all curled up in the crook of a tree about 30 feet above us.
After taking a few pictures from the trail I quickly decided to get closer.
I always want to get closer!
I was afraid the sound of crunching leaves under my feet would wake him from his nap, but he did not move a muscle as I edged closer to the tree.
He (or she) was the size of a baby bear, but we were fairly confident that there were no bears in this neck of the woods!
He was completely undisturbed by our conversation and at one point, we wondered if he was actually alive.
His creepy little “hands” reminded me of a character in a fantasy movie.
At the same time, I was captivated by him.
He looked so snuggly, covering he eyes from the daylight as he slept.
We finally left him to his slumber. He’d never know that we were ever there.
After some photo editing and debate, we decided he was an EXTREMELY large……..
racoon.
This was a moment in nature I will not forget.
Some of the best things in life happen accidentally. That was the case when my husband and I took a scenic train trip in a more northerly area of Ontario.
Take the beautiful beaming sun, the large window of a train and the constant movement as we roll down the tracks. Mix it with a somewhat limited knowledge of photography and voila…..some strange but interesting shots.
Coupled clouds
From the dining car….
…or a floating restaurant.
Reflecting on a remote little cottage.
Would I like to live here? Uh…yes!
Blurring colors of trees
Eerie silhouettes as the sun rises
He’s looking forward…..I’m looking back…….reflecting.
Relax as we race
Pondering the landscape
Beauty repeated
Lakes can be mirrors
Rays of replication
Mirrors in the mist
On the outside looking in
Or from the inside looking out?
Or maybe there is no division….maybe we are just part of it all
The journey by train is over as the sun offers us one last moment of introspection.
Would you touch a snake? I had the opportunity. It was during an inspiring nature walk with my husband. The sun was warm and healing. The path we were hiking on led to a wooden bridge over a marshy area. I took my time inspecting the environment as my husband waited impatiently for me to continue on our journey. He should know by now that for me, it’s all about the journey. I spotted that snake basking in the sun. He didn’t seem to mind my curiosity as I stopped to say hello. Again, like seeing a mountain and not climbing it, I just had to touch him. I wondered how rough his thick skin would be and would he feel invaded. Just one little stroke is all I needed to know how he felt…..to experience something new. So I reached out to pet him. Can you pet a snake? His skin was rough, as I had imagined. He did not flinch. I did not flinch. Instead, I took that moment in. I had touched a snake. No regrets.
Mind sinking into neutral gear
While car just never stops
Blurs of beauty to my right
Desert dreams to my left
Hiking mountains in my mind
As colours sweep by in foreign hues
Land of enchantment at my door
But I can only take these shots
Good intentions, greater hopes
All but shatter in the wind
I reach to hold on to a cloud
As shadows race across the sky
Destination pushes on
Journey…………lost
My heart is pulling over
Aching for my feet to touch ground
mishunderstood 