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Unthink(sink)able

Posted on

may-2016-014

 

 

I am fog, fazed

With weightless words

Coasting on currents

Weakened by my own candor

I am left as embers

After the char

Floating, still flickering

Blindsided by fire

Disguised as sunshine

Treading dark waters

Searching for one open portal

Where skies meet sea

 

A quadrille for Victoria’s prompt this week. She asked that our 44 word poem include the word “open”. The doors are wide open at dVerse Poets Pub. Step right in.  It’s a wonderful place.

 

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30 responses »

  1. Well done, Mish, and somehow appropriate for the coming Fall season. 🙂

    Reply
  2. This is quite different in feel and tone from the other poems I’ve read so far on this prompt. There is wistfulness and longing there, perhaps even a sense of being lost.

    Reply
  3. Wow!!! ❤ This is oh so powerful and intense, Mish!

    Reply
  4. Oh, MY. So glad I was finally able to access your post, Mish. You had me at the title, and this is breathtaking.

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  5. Nice personification of fog.

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  6. Such a layered poem that creates an effective metaphor .I’ve lived at the ocean and in the California Central Valley where the fog (Tulle) is so thick you can’t see the car ahead of you unless you are really close to the tail-lights. It is such a reflective experience.

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  7. Excellent..especially like Disguised as sunshine…

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  8. Oh so nicely done! Very moving, Mish. Wistful and seeking in tone.

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  9. Somehow I felt a longing for horizons here.. a great metaphor for the seeking one is facing

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  10. Poignant, beautiful, and bitter-sweet ~ nice work. ❤

    Reply
  11. I agree with the comments about your Quadrille conveying a feeling of wistfulness, being lost and seeking. I love those lines: ”I am left as embers / After the char’. You have found your ‘open portal’ in poetry, ‘Where skies meet sea’. Beautiful.

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  12. Where skies meet the sea… Awwee. Great descriptions and imagery. ❤

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  13. My favourite section: “embers/After the char/Floating, still flickering”. A very emotionally powerful piece.

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  14. I like this so much better than Sandburg’s “little cat feet” fog. This is truly fog in the way you have personified it. I love the seeking quality of the fog.

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  15. Your feelings come through very clearly, Mish. I see the metaphors for your recent life upheavel. I am hoping you find that portal.

    Reply
  16. Clouds are words
    Words thaT SinG..
    Beauty..
    are
    clouds..
    And Sunshine
    iS icinG oN
    cloudS noW
    that open
    for even
    more
    joy
    than beauty oF
    Clouds.. coloRed FReED..:)

    Reply
  17. I am always searching for that one open portal!

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  18. This metaphor for being burned is effective here, and your description of “fire’ Disguised as sunshine” is just perfect. I think we can probably all related to a person, or experience, like that.

    Reply
  19. Searching for one open portal
    Where skies meet sea

    One craves for troubling times to be neatly resolved but alas, it often is very elusive and difficult to be addressed firmly. It is a question of luck that can help in many instances!

    Hank

    Reply
  20. In a poem about fog, some lines are piercing…especially “weakened by my own candor” and “searching for one open portal”. Intriguing title too!

    Reply
  21. this is heartfelt and just beautiful. ❤

    Reply
  22. “embers after the char”

    Evocative, moody read. Thanks.

    Reply
  23. Beautiful imagery. 😊

    Reply
  24. Rosemary Nissen-Wade

    Very nicely said.

    Reply

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