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An Elegy

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That morning
When part of me
Died with you
I was forced to fathom words
So free of logic
They made no impact
“Gone where?”
The entity spread slowly
Like black ink
Across my heart, saturating me
Into dark pools of nothingness
Liquefying my legs so
I crawled and pounded
At the floor for another world
To open up because this one
Was no longer real


I have your boots
Engraved leather, western
I know they danced up storms
Tears of laughter raining
With friends that could barely fit
Into the funeral home
I have your smile
Tucked into mine
I use it for all that
You forgot to smile at
And all that you did


I recycle your dreams
Tarnished and tattered
They still matter
To me
I see you in the clouds
Emblazoned in
Fiery silhouettes
Did you know that
Seagulls float by
With sun speckles of
You on their wings?

cloud for elegy

In memory of my brother


An elegy is “a poem written to lament the loss of someone or something special to you”, as Gayle Walters Rose explains this week at dVerse: Meeting the Bar. Three stages of grief are included – sorrow, admiration and acceptance.

14 responses »

  1. I’m so very sorry for your loss, Mish. You put his essence and your pain into such powerfully felt words. Your ending is breathtaking with love and tenderness. Thanks so very much for sharing this most personal experience.

  2. This is a stunning tribute to your brother. I love the idea of “recycled dreams”, and the image of “your smile tucked into mine.”

  3. so sorry for your loss….deep pain and tender love grace the poem so beautifully….

  4. I too lost a brother — an emptiness standing where he should be.
    “I have your smile tucked into mine…”
    “Did you know that
    Seagulls float by
    With sun speckles of
    You on their wings?”
    These words made me smile through memories……..
    Love shines through your words.

  5. What a perfect elegy, so many lines to love, the smile tucked into mine… and the speckles on the seagull’s wing…

  6. Thank you Mish for sharing this.

  7. Beautifully written Mish ~ And that last stanza, every line is gorgeous to read ~

  8. Beautiful. I especially love those last 4 lines.

  9. What a beautiful elegy for a tragically sad event. So sorry for your loss.

  10. This is incredibly beautiful. I especially love the seagulls flying by with sun speckles of your brother on their wings.

  11. Glenn Buttkus

    Like five others here, I think you really nailed the poem with the smile-lines & the last stanza. I enjoyed the metaphysical references in the first section as well, for as we All approach our own transition beyond the veil, fear does not need to accompany us.

  12. I recycle your dreams
    Tarnished and tattered
    They still matter

    How one treasures those moments. To lose a brother is a real loss. Beautifully rendered Mish!


  13. Truly a beautiful tribute to your brother.

  14. Leaves me speechless, Mish. Wonderful tribute and remembrance.


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