RSS Feed

Plain Sailing

Posted on

pic for octaine

 

 

Some days I’d like to sail away

On diamond studded oceans blue

A dazzle of my dreams come true

 

Horizons stretch beyond the bay

Stars for tracing, time erasing

Surrender burdens of yesterday

 

Life starts with taking breaths anew

Some days I’d like to sail away

 

 

Over at dVerse, Victoria C. Slotto has introduced the Octain Refrain, originally created by an English poet by the name of Luke Prater. The rhyme scheme is A-b-b,  a-c/c-a,  b-a

Eight syllables per line…I may have an extra one.

 

Advertisements

33 responses »

  1. Some days are like that, aren’t they? Although I don’t know if I would want my ocean to be diamond studded. That sounds like some bumpy sailing. 😉

    Reply
  2. A great visual piece, Mish! One of my favorite inspirations well done!

    Reply
  3. Oh, wouldn’t we all ..especially on a beautiful day as in your pic.

    Reply
  4. Oh, I would like to sail away too sometimes! Seems like bliss to me.

    Reply
  5. Would I love to sail away and surrender burdens of yesterday ~ Well done with the form Mish ~

    Have a lovely weekend and Happy Easter ~

    Reply
  6. Your poem has such a carefree and happy feel about it. It’s lovely to dream of sailing away…or at least getting away somehow!

    Reply
  7. Absolutely perfect, Mish. If there’s an extra syllable I didn’t notice it. The line with the internal rhyme says it all. Thanks for making the effort!

    Reply
  8. this made smile smile and sigh – such a beautiful dream

    Reply
  9. So ready to go with you! Well done Octain.

    Reply
  10. Wonderful response to this form. Such a dreamy, happy poem.

    Reply
  11. “Stars for tracing” …sigh. Yes. Perfect.

    Reply
  12. Me too! Lovely thought and well done on the form.

    Reply
  13. Again I read another musical poem perfect to form that had me humming as I read it – Sailing. Wonderful.

    Reply
  14. It makes you take a deep satisfying breath. Lovely.

    Reply
  15. That’s really beautiful. My step dad was a sailor. It’s an elegant experience, just like your poem!

    Reply
  16. And sail we shall.. 😀 beautifully penned!!

    Reply
  17. This is beautiful. As a former sailor, this resonates deeply with me.

    Reply
  18. Love how the final couplet changes this from a desire to travel to a desire to escape.

    Reply
  19. SMiLes.. give
    me three sacred
    feet.. as well as feet..
    and the air i WiLL
    sAil.. as
    fREE..:)

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: