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On Red Rock Ledge

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red rock

 

Standing on red rock ledge
Edge
Pondering his life
Strife
Reaching for the chain
Pain
Deep in his pocket
Dropped it
Sun catches gold
Behold
Random flashbacks tumble
Fumble
Flipping like days
Haze
Slipping away faster
Disaster
Gone
Gone
~
Vultures on thermals
Primal

 

Written for Meeting the Bar at dVerse where Mary has introduced us to the “echo verse”.
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23 responses »

  1. Ouch…this gave my heart a jolt…echo does capture the last scene well…Sigh…

    Reply
  2. Scraming out your pain to the echo you will get such confirmations.. Painful.

    Reply
  3. Ohhh, that was a sombre and sobering read! Very apt description of suicidal thoughts, though, echoed (sorry, couldn’t resist the pun) by the mournful sounding syllables or vowels or diphtongs like ‘ai’, ‘o’, ‘um’…

    Reply
  4. A poignant yet beautiful piece ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
  5. THAT, was one of the best I have read — superb. Dark and captivating.

    Reply
  6. Oh, this is really chilling. I ended the reading with a gulp. I like how you thought of a theme & worked it through expertly to its strong climax.

    Reply
  7. Very well-done! Although we anticipate what might happen, you still managed to present us with a powerful ending.

    Reply
  8. Cool response to the prompt..I love finding gold in pockets!

    Reply
  9. Very lovely piece. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
  10. Screaming out our pain and hearing the echoes come back at us….a deep, dark, and powerful piece.

    Reply
  11. Ah.. to live in low places
    Faces
    Drifting empty life death
    Breath
    No high places no jumps
    Trump

    Reply
  12. the vultures end tho – powerful… very dark, but relatable as we’ve all had times where flashbacks of better days are heavy…

    Reply
  13. Sad tormented soul…poignant write…leaves me wondering about the gold chain.

    Reply
  14. Very interesting visuals…the echos really strengthened your piece.

    Reply
  15. Certainly agree with the accolades thus far; interesting how/where the poem takes us, dark & surreal. It seems with this form, the echoes themselves kind of set the tone, surprising each of us as to the results.

    Reply

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