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Letter of Termination

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letter of termination

Dear Winter,

We regret to inform you

That your services are

No longer required or desired

And we are tired

Of your blustery behaviour

Insubordinations have been noted

Refusing to exit before spring

Violating seasonal policies

And confronting Mother Nature

After she politely released you

Sassing back will not be tolerated

Be it hail, slush or sleet

We need heat

Which is definitely not your forte

We find your hexagon flakes

No longer enchanting

It seems that you are stuck

In a stationary front

Indecisive of your intentions

According to our almanac

Your departure is past due

Therefore a two week notice

Will not be necessary

Please gather all of your accumulations

And leave quietly

You can take the white out

We would be happy

To send a letter of reference

To Mr. J. Frost


Summer Loving People, Inc.

We’re writing letters at the pub tonight!

20 responses »

  1. “We regret to inform you

    That your services are

    No longer required or desired’ – This is so true! I just love it. I am so looking forward to warmth and real spring weather.

  2. Oh, I laughed uproariously over this one. This is a gem, a real gem. I loved the way you told winter to take all his accumulations and leave quickly. Indeed, he has hung around far too long. I truly am so tired of wearing my winter jacket! Thank you for this. It made my night.

  3. This is wonderfully clever. But here in the California desert and at home in Northern NV, we would do anything for some of that accumulation. Maybe we could negotiate?

  4. excellent! And don’t come back here no more!!!! really enjoyed this.

  5. Ha! Sounds like you’ve had a tough winter of it! Very clever, tongue-in-cheek – great use of voice and formal admin letter-writing skills.

  6. Ah! I could not help laughing here even though I love winter and dislike summer.. Very clever…

  7. No hard feelings, of course. You are welcome to contact us the third week of December. Demand for your white flurries will pick up then.

  8. Hahaha! It certainly has been a looonnng winter! I think it needs to be evicted too!

  9. This is awesome and I think this letter is LONG OVERDUE!!!

  10. fabulous! Completely how, I think, everyone feels about the lingering winter.

  11. This must be why spring came so early. Thanks guys!

  12. haha… It’s a bit chilly here in Michigan for next few days, I def feel winter won’t leave without a fight. hahah

  13. Love it! I would happily co-sign this letter, though we have had a very mild winter in my neck of the woods, I’m still ready for spring (a short one) and summer (a long, hot one) to make a strong appearance any time now. Peace, Linda

  14. Ha ha, your piece really made me smile. Well penned. Thanks for participating my prompt.

  15. Yes.. to be able to order the weather the way we want it.. is not such a far fetched idea for humans in union.. as after all the observer effect is real in physics.. so..
    imagine what three or four hundred or thousand truly connected natives
    can do together singing a rain song
    of Summer in full unity
    of life..
    After all it
    never gets cold
    in rain forests.. does it..;)

  16. Well. The summer is so serious. There is so much to do and to take notice of. Wheat, cinnamon, blueberries, grapes … I think the winter is all right. ๐Ÿ™‚

  17. I really like this one a LOT! Very clever–and though I didn’t really have much winter, I know much of the country is well-sick of it.

  18. LOLOL so much fun ๐Ÿ™‚

  19. Shery Alexander Heinis

    I think winter in Ottawa finally received your memo. It’s been warm, sunny and just generally lovely here for the past couple of days! People are streaming out of buildings onto the streets in a daze – amazed and ecstatic!

  20. I love this! Although I have to say that I like winter, perhaps because it’s pretty mild where I live. But of course, if I were giving a performance review, I’d have to sack our winter for being pretty hopeless at its job. It is often late, or leaves early, focuses on basic tasks and fails to deliver the bigger projects (storms, snow, etc). But mainly, Auckland winters just don’t seem to have much enthusiasm for the job. ๐Ÿ™‚


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