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50 Things I’ve Learned in 50 Years…#25

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“Strength can be silent.”

W7509

This one is still very hard for me…another lesson in progress.

Why?

My shyness crippled me when I was a child, a teenager and even into my twenties.

It took me a long time to grow “a voice”.  It took me a long time to be confident about my own opinions and a longer time to not care what others think of them. I find it very hard to be silent in a situation that is harmful to others. I want to fix things. I enjoy making a case. I enjoy writing a letter of complaint. (Can you get paid for that?) I am actually pretty darn good at it. Speaking up for something that I strongly believe in?  My cup of tea.

Despite this, I am learning that sometimes I just need to listen…even if it means listening to the silence. Sometimes the silence says that I am saying too much, that maybe I am over compensating for my own inadequacies or maybe I am speaking on the behalf of others, when they haven’t given me the floor.

Sometimes…I just need to be quiet shut up!

Strength is not always about raising your voice. Sometimes it is about restraining yourself from doing just that.

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13 responses »

  1. My Grandma left a pearl of wisdom for me regarding silence: “Listen twice as much as you speak.” 🙂

    Reply
  2. @..Speaking up for something that I strongly believe in? My cup of tea…@Despite this, I am learning that sometimes I just need to listen…even if it means listening to the silence. Sometimes the silence says that I am saying too much, that maybe I am over compensating for my own inadequacies or maybe I am speaking on the behalf of others, when they haven’t given me the floor.

    Sometimes…I just need to be quiet shut up!

    Strength is not always about raising your voice. Sometimes it is about restraining yourself from doing just that…

    **This is a lesson in progress for me also…Working honestly on the progress didn’t begin until this 51st year of life..Glad you shared this and word!

    Reply
  3. Beautiful words! I can so relate. We are very much alike.

    Reply
  4. I relate to all of this. I too was once crippled with shyness, took a while to develop a voice and, given my increasing life experience, now have to learn to just listen, when my kids talk, since they are on their own learning paths……..you picked a cool topic!

    Reply
    • Thanks, Sherry. I’ve never looked back except to appreciate how I have changed. I still have my moments in certain situations. I don’t like public speaking, but if I’m in a group and don’t agree with something, I am very talkative. One extreme to the other, still looking for the balance…like I said, a lesson in progress. 🙂
      Thank you for your comments.

      Reply
  5. I love this post! I like it when you aren’t being quiet.

    Reply
  6. Feels like you are writing about my own life!
    The word “inadequacies” stood out for me. A word I used a lot in the past. Now, not so much. I feel inadequate in many ways, however I know that I am capable of all those “requirements” if I let go of the fear.
    Another lesson right there…
    thanks for these words of yours.

    Reply
  7. I think learning to listen is even harder than learning to grow our voice. Love this piece:)

    Reply
  8. though we all have “inadequacies” there are usually other good people nearby who will help, who will offer, who will speak for or listen as needed. It’s why I can do what I do, trusting in others’ goodness and strengths

    Reply
  9. Me too. I have learned that my own silence teaches me more than my opinions.

    Reply

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