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Finding My Own Beat

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This week at dVerse Poet’s Pub, we were given the opportunity to explore poetry we’ve already written to find one that best represented our own personal voice, our natural rhythm, so to speak. There seems to be an internal BEAT that makes it’s way into our poetry. Who knew?!

Seriously, this has been very enlightening. Thank you, Gay Reiser Cannon at dVerse! It’s amazing what one can learn about themselves from their own writing.

After careful consideration, I chose this one from the archives as it just seems to be the voice in my head. Syllables are marked in bold print to emphasize the way the beats take place for me.Β  A pause or “caesura” can also have a beat within the poem and these are shown with brackets (…)

My rhythm seems to be a little intense…but that should not surprise me.

 

Toronto

Β 

SKYSCRAPING

 

If I have to look up to see your grandeur

Then what importance do you hold for me? (…)

Everything essential to my heart and mind

Is in front of me (…)

Yes, I look to the sky, why wouldn’t I?

To the clouds, to the wind

To the spirit within

But not you (…)

You have always been my saboteur

Reminding me of the cold

That paralyzed my plight

Your capital charisma

Does nothing but amuse me

And I will not be impressed

By your obvious stateliness

For success is not dressed

The sun bares the truth

Magnified in your every window

Exposing your hard lines

Disclosing your designs

Of your eyes on the pie

As you scrape at the sky

 

http://dversepoets.com/2014/08/14/your-own-beat/

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20 responses »

  1. could feel your beat and i can relate to you…skyscrapers are sometimes eyesores indeed…

    Reply
  2. Could sense the beat very much so… seemed to me that I could see many aspects to this poem with which I could relate too!

    Reply
  3. First great to read the poem with so well marked beat.. It makes it all very clear… The skyscraper angle – a little twist at the end that made it agreeable

    Reply
  4. yikes….what an interesting turn there in the middle…them being the cold hard lines that are exposed by the truth of the sun…nice rhythm in this.

    Reply
  5. It’s funny how the twist is so evident to the reader because my intention was to be negative from the start…lol
    It made me reread and notice that I really need to change the word, “front” in the fourth line to “inside” to convey the message from the beginning.
    Thanks for your comments, Brian. Always enlightening.

    Reply
  6. I left you a long comment on the dVerse comments. I thank you for understanding and incorporating the idea of the article into your understanding of your own work. That was the point. This was beautifully achieved. Your natural rhythm arcs throughout mirroring to a degree the lift of the buildings. Check carefully your use of anapests throughout – they give a building-like arc to the whole piece. Again thank you!

    Reply
  7. This is quite a metaphor, I think. I’m not really qualified to critique, but I can feel your rhythm in this. Looks like you did a great job.

    Reply
  8. Nicely done. I picked up the beat.

    Reply
  9. This looks like an interesting and worthwhile exercise. I might give it a go. I love the truth and rhythm of this poem – it’s like a one-on-one conversation with the skyscraper itself.
    Bianca.

    Reply
    • Yes, try it! It is really interesting when you discover where you tend to put emphasis, beats and rhythm. And yes..and I guess I really was talking to the skyscraper! Thanks for stopping by, Bianca. πŸ™‚

      Reply
  10. I can’t add much to the comments you’ve already received – I think this is the first time I’ve read the poem and I like it.

    Reply
  11. Really really nice gallery, I like how you have a kind of story for every photo, keep it up, cheers !

    Reply

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