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Recipe for Change (50 Things I’ve Learned in 50 Years….#13)

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#13. Don’t look to others to change your life. It’s not going to happen. You are accountable for your own destiny. The only one that can change your situation is you.

Life is tough.

I think some people are more fortunate than others to breeze through the first half of their life, without losing  a parent or sibling, without going through a divorce, without being abused, without suffering from a serious physical or mental illness. Then there are others who have faced all of these and more.

Life is not fair.

Random things happen to random people. I think it is foolish to think that tragedy cannot strike at any moment. It can. It does. It happens  to someone somewhere in every moment. It could be me. It could be you.

So now that I’ve spewed this negativity and doom, I will follow with some hope. Hope is one thing that can always exist. No one can take it away. It is yours. No one can control it. No one can end it for you. If you take hope and mix it with a little action, it equals change. This recipe is a keeper. It can also be passed down. You demonstrate this for your children and wowsers, they will have the best formula for survival on this planet. Keeping with this analogy (humour me here), you can also stir things up that really need to be and watch your life rise to new levels.

I made the mistake of looking at where I was in my life as where I had to be. Someone had to get me out or maybe I needed to stay there. This wasn’t fair. What did I do to deserve this? Someone else had to change so that everything would be ok for me. How dare someone else try to ruin my life or leave my life. I wallowed in self pity, anger, resentment and pain. It took many years for me to realize that no one else was going to do ANYTHING of the sort. That is difficult to accept. First you are thrown this horrible fate and then you are supposed to be the one to deal with it? Seriously?

What it comes down to is that you cannot control the crazy, unpredictable, tragic, shocking things that can happen to you and no, you cannot change everything you want. Change  doesn’t bring back the loved ones you have lost from this earth. It doesn’t completely heal the scars that cover a victim of abuse or multiple abuse. Change is a place for you to go. It is anywhere else but where you are…..and  if you’re in any type of despair, then anywhere else is good.

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