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50 Things I’ve Learned in 50 Years….#9

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#9.  “Happiness and contentment in your life only happens because you are happy and content with yourself.”

Throughout my twenties and thirties, I had a vision of what would make me happy. It was a perfect world and time.   It was just outside the box of reality I lived in, but completely achievable….or so I thought. It was more than just career goals or personal milestones. It was this imaginary idea of what my life should be like. I constantly pined for it . I was always waiting for it.  I like to think that I had some kind of epiphany about this but maybe it was just a few hard knocks that forced me to finally free myself of these ridiculous and unnecessary expectations.

As I approached 4O,  I found myself again…under the rubble of wishes and good intenti0ns. Wow, I was M.I.A. and didn’t even know it!

Why is it that different things make different people happy? Maybe it’s because it is our own particular state of mind that reacts. Happy things make happy people happy. They don’t work as well with unhappy people. People in my life have suffered similar challenges and losses. Although they all found themselves drowning in  despair and self pity, some have not come back up for air. They are still swimming around in the aftermath, hanging on to what happened to them, their only strength is their pain. It’s really easy to be unhappy. It requires no work on our part. Acceptance requires action but believe me, it is worth it in the end. Our own contentment welcomes the laughter, the warmth, and the beautiful stillness.

California 2011 040

California breathin’

Feeling inspired to write a poem today…….


Taking, needing, wanting

All the while believing it is the goal

To find, to get, to hold

A dream deserved

Only to realize

The illusion of plans

And the truth of fate.

Giving, accepting, feeling

As each moment ignites only briefly

Feeding the soul for only now

Is there anything

Not conjured up

Or wished upon

Only within is there light

To find, to get, to hold.

6 responses »

  1. I’ve always wondered why it seems it is easier to be unhappy. I think you nailed it, it requires no work on our part. Even the people who just seem to have this “magical happy gene” have had to endure and the magic is they know how to get back to being happy

  2. So true. I used to think that those “too happy” people were in la-la land. Now I get it. They suffered pain too but found a way to move on.

  3. Hey! I know that pier! Ocean Beach, right?
    Beautiful post! I myself am just starting to learn that there are no rules outlining what things make a person happy and successful. For me, happiness has come from the knowledge that it’s okay to defy preconceptions you had about what life as an adult would be like, and enjoy the simple things.
    Very enjoyable article. Thank you for sharing.

  4. Thanks so much for your comments! I really appreciate the feedback. The picture was taken in on the beach in Oceanside, CA. We were visiting there.

  5. Beautiful words.
    Thanks for all your visits to my blog.


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